Looking back with PhD Candidate Zozan Baran

LolMyThesis. If I had tosummarize my dissertation’s main idea in a sentence, I would say: Places and connections have always been crucial for activists and social movements. What I want to understand is how these dynamics have changed through digital media.

It’s all about that space. To be honest, when I first started, I thought the network would be the most crucial CRC concept for my dissertation, just as it was for the subproject I am involved in. And the network is a crucial concept for me. However, I have come to think of place as the basis of my thesis more and more. I think this is because my dissertation has very gradually shifted towards micro dynamics and I have started to engage with the question of collective identity, human agency, individual motivations, and reasoning etc. In the process, I realized that place is a fundamental aspect of all these dynamics. Nevertheless, I do not understand place as a completely distinct reality. Rather, I see it as something evolving and taking on new shapes with each turn through translocal connections, networks, digitalization, etc.

Looking back, I don’t like giving advice in the context of doing a PhD because I think every experience is unique in terms of how we deal with stress, find motivation, organize our time, and, above all, what we want to achieve. This is why I think the advice given to someone else is to a large extent futile. But if I could talk to my past self, I would say, “It is going to be okay.” The most challenging part of the PhD is the anxiety that never truly goes away, especially because there is so much internalized pressure, competition, and sense of loneliness… In my opinion (and again only for myself), I would say this is a destructive aspect of an academic career, and I would try to minimize its impact on my work and life as much as possible. That said, it’s impossible to never feel stressed, anxious, or like you’re the only one struggling. You just need to remind yourself that indulging in these feelings is unhelpful and try to keep a clear head. Also, I would tell my past self that she did not do too bad on this front.

A day in a life. I don’t know if I truly have a typical day, but I guess I have some routines. I usually start my working day with small tasks, like replying to emails. I feel most productive right before and after lunch. So, this is generally when I write. And I finish with another round of small tasks. I end the day by checking my to-do list for the day and planning the next day.

This, however, is a very broad stroke. No two days are exactly the same. I am not good at dividing my day into too many tasks. For example, I can’t write 1-2 pages every day. Instead, I might read an entire week, taking notes, and then spend one full day writing based on my notes. Or, I might work on a project-related task all week, and work only on my dissertation the next week. Of course, things often come in between, but I generally keep this routine up, because it’s essential for me to maintain a flow of thought while writing. If I interrupt too much, I feel like my writing is less coherent. I also spend a lot of time planning and constructing an argument in my mind before writing anything down on the paper. This often makes me nervous as I feel like the deadline is approaching and I still don’t have much on paper. But based on my experience, I guess this is just how I work.

It’s all about the spatial arrangement. I don’t like working in social spaces at all! Cafés, parks, gardens, crowded working spaces – none of these work for me, although I sometimes romanticize such working arrangements. I am easily distracted by noise or any type of visual movement. I don’t like not having enough space for all my papers, various pens, notebooks, etc. This also makes, say, working in a hammock impossible.

The other thing is that I care about cleanliness and tidiness to an almost obsessive extent. Chaotic places distract me and literally create a mental burden for me. I have this strong connection between my mental peace (you could call it ‘orderliness of my head’) and physical orderliness. This is another factor in choosing my ideal working space. Therefore, my ideal workspace is a clean, calm, silent and a solitary desk with enough space. I prefer some niceties, like a beautiful picture, flowers, or photos of my loved ones around. But too much of this is also distracting. Hence, the place that best fits this description is my own desk, either at the office or at home. Both are good places for me to work. Since I am also keen on my routines, I don’t like changing my working place too often either. So, I’d stick with a few places.

When you know, you know. I don’t think there was anything particularly surprising about doing a PhD. One thing I was happy about, which might be surprising, was how quickly I could adjust to the project and proceed with my dissertation topic. Although, I hadn’t engaged with spatial sociology at all before, it, sort of, came naturally, I suppose.

Back to the future. If I were to give advice to other doctoral researchers starting out in the CRC, I would say: Just think about what you want to achieve, what is your capacity, your goal, and your personal best. And try as much as possible not to compare your progress with others. Focus on yourself and embrace both your weaknesses and your strengths. 

Author Bio:

Zozan Baran is a PhD candidate and a research associate at Freie Universität Berlin, Institute for Media and Communication Studies, and the CRC 1265. Her research interests include social movements, space and place in contentious politics, digital activism, and climate justice.